讨论：网上交流的价值和障碍
刚才我在一个国外的Gurdjieff论坛看到一个讨论这一主题的帖子，我会把主要意思翻译出来并附上原帖，供大家讨论。
先说明一下我个人的看法。任何一种交流方式都有其局限性和优势，同样，网上交流有其局限性，这也许是大家不太交流的原因之一，但是我相信，本着诚信，网上交流或许是一个有效的第二线工作的一个途径，既然我们很少有第二线工作的机会（除非你在一个团体之中），我们何不敞开心扉，做出一定的努力让这样的交流更emotional（富情感性）。
转贴大意：
很多时候，即便我们在一个现实的团体中，大多数人也很少发言。但是如果你真想获得长进，就不要怕自己不懂或受到抨击，而是从自己本身出发来发言，不必担心别人的看法。对那些真正想观察自己和记得自己的人而言，跟他人的交流在很多层面上会帮助到他本人。
James wrote:
"Perhaps we get discouraged by the difficulties that we experience in our lives or perhaps by the disconnect between the ideas discussed here and what we see in our lives. Or perhaps we are not sure whether the ideas that we would like to present are good enough for these message boards. Or perhaps we feel that there is too much of an authoritarian tone in these message boards. I am not sure why there is not much participation."
It's a very real question you are asking James. Even in actual groups (unless it is a small one), there are some who speak a lot and some (quite a few more) who speak little or not at all. At the beginning (in the actual group context) I thought that maybe those who didn't speak were listening carefully and trying to work. But I quickly saw that for the most part (with some exceptions) this was not true. Many of them were reacting internally to what was being said while trying to show a calm face to the others. Not only did I sometimes see it in myself (when I remained silent for long stretches) but I saw it in others, who sometimes even admitted or exposed (unconsciously) what was actually happening. One day, for example, I looked at one of those people who didn't speak a lot and noticed that though her eyes were closed and she seemed at first glance relaxed, her breathing was very fast and high up in her chest, and her hands were clenched tightly in her lap (all signs of stress). I could almost hear her talking to herself, criticizing some of the others who were having an exchange at the moment and even building up resentment. Yes there was a bit of an "authoritarian" tone, especially coming from some of the men who were speaking (what's new there?), but for those who were actually working and were able not to react to that tone, the exchange was quite interesting. When the woman did finally speak toward the end of the meeting, however, there was tremendous resentment in her seemingly "calm voice, " as though the others had been speaking too much and not giving her a chance to speak (yet there were long pauses in the exchanges).
The fact is, many of us are afraid of speaking up in an active way. What do I mean by active? I simply mean from ourselves, without mental or emotional stimulation from or reaction to others. It's that way in ordinary life and it's that way in the Work. It's much easier to react to what others say than it is to be active, to speak directly from one's own wish or question or observation or insight or impression or thought or feeling. I was afraid for a long time of being active--afraid of being exposed to those around me. Over time, however, and with work and the help of my teachers, I saw that my wish to awaken to the truth began to become stronger than my fear of exposure, and so my voice was freed up and I was able to speak without as much fear.
That's a big part of what holds us back from speaking about our own real questions or from our own understanding--fear associated with identification. Studies by researchers from all over the world have shown that almost all people everywhere are afraid to speak in front of groups. They have even shown that our blood pressure goes up when we speak and down when we listen. Anyone who observes him/herself honestly, can see this fear, especially when one is not accustomed to speaking out in front of large groups (which this Internet discussion group is). That's just the way it is.
I'm sure there are many important themes and questions just waiting to be discussed. So why not take a chance? If someone comes in and criticizes you, just remember that old Mullah Nasruddin story:
The Mullah had a lunch meeting with a learned professor to discuss some important philosophical issues. Unfortunately, on the way to the meeting the Mullah's carriage broke down, and he arrived an hour late. By that time, the professor had already left. So the Mullah went home, reminding himself to visit the professor and apologize that evening. When he arrived home, he saw the word "IDIOT" written in big letter across his door. Later, when he went to visit the professor and after apologizing, he said, "By the way, thank you for taking the time to come to visit me after lunch. I'm sorry I wasn't there." The professor replied, "How did you know I stopped by?" The Mullah replied with a smile, "You left your name on my door."
For those who are actually trying to observe and remember themselves, exchanging with others is very helpful on many different levels. Several people have recently asked how this Internet discussion group could be more useful, and my response is simply to try to say something from yourself (not in emotional reaction to another) and you will see. It is not criticism of others or even of ourselves that is needed, nor is "false humility" needed; what is needed is simply the willingness to speak about the real questions that move you as best you can. Whatever happens, happens; but any conscious efforts you make to speak from yourself and your own questions and understanding and not just in reaction, will pay off in many ways.
Dennis
